One of the themes I keep returning too is where I am now and where I am going with my life. A bit like the road ahead. I suppose in way, this is one of the reasons I am here.
I pretty much fulfilled all the goals I had set myself in teaching. I had done five years at the chalkface, seen my tutor group through early adolescence, become a lead teacher, an exam board moderator, started an adult education program.
I was also proud of the person I had become. I was more honest, decent, kinder, less selfish person than I had been in my youth.
Sure, there were a lot of faults too, and I was certainly not perfect, but I was proud of how far I had come both inwardly and outwardly.
It had occurred to me, more than once, and not just on this trip, that this might be it. I had achieved my goals. I had no more. This is as good as I could get. This would be a natural end.
And I suppose driving round in India, much closer to my mortality than at home in safe England, it has been on my mind a lot more.
What would it be, how would it feel, how would the chapter close? These were some of the thoughts that were in my head this morning.
We left around 7.30, Sachin and Bart leading, firstly through the alleyways of the old town, and then through the less picturesque suburbs. They found the way a lot quicker, not just because they could fluently ask for directions, but also because of Bart's 3g map utility on his phone.
The road East was as glorious as yesterday. Smooth single lane tarmac, disappearing off into the barren lands, little traffic, good surfaces, fast tempo. We matched pace and drove for a good hour, maybe 60 or 70 kilometres before we stopped at a small town so Bart could get some throat lozenges.
I remember thinking what a dirty, rubbish strewn miserable little town it was. The shops were set a good 20 yards back from the road so trucks could park, and everywhere was discarded litter.
One biker is usually big news, but two seemed to be fascinating. First one, then two, the half a dozen, and ten, then twenty, then probably near fifty people started circling round the bikes.
'I guess they don't see people stop here very often'. Bart grinned at me. 'You go on ahead', Sachin said, 'We will catch up.
'Its ok fellas, I don't mind. They are only curious'.
A few kilometres further on there was a junction. We stopped to look at the map. There appeared to be two ways to Jaisamer, one heading first north then west on the National Highway, via Pushkar, the other on a smaller road heading west and then north.
I would be travelling back along the top national highway heading back to the mountains, so I wanted to go along the quiet road, Sachin and Bart wanted to go the other way as they would be heading down south.
'No Problem!' Bart grinned at me. 'We can meet in Jaisamer. We have each others cells, so lets arrange to call each other when we get close'.
'We are going to try and get to Sam tonight, a town further out into the desert', Sachin added. 'But we will come back to Jaisamer tomorrow. We may go to a little village that I know there'.
'Mind if I tag along?' I said intrigues.
'For sure!' Bart grinned at me again! 'Ok see you!'.
And we went our separate ways.
And then it happened.
Passing through a tiny hamlet, a tractor, coming the other way stopped to turn into a side road. I slowed down, probably to about 40, watchful of people stepping out. And when I was about ten yards away, without warning, the tractor just pulled into my lane.
I had no time to stop. I could see the crash was going to happen.
'Fucking shitti....'
And then we hit. I had slammed on the brakes as hard as I could and turned the wheel hard, but I felt the impact and the bike go down and crumple beneath me. I was thrown clear. I know there was a big bang, but I don't really remember it.
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