Goodbyes

There are many different types of Goodbyes.

There is the goodbye you say at the end of the day, when you know that you will see them again. The end of the day goodbye, the end of the work goodbye, the see you soon, see you tomorrow, see you soon kind of goodbye. The Au Revoir, the Auf Wiedersehn.

There is the goodbye that you don't say. Actions or words that dont say exactly say it but leave no doubt about it.

Then there is the goodbye that you make when you know that you will never see that person again. The final goodbye, whether said or not, when you know in your heart that you will not meet again. The hardest, and perhaps saddest that we make.

And occasionally, very occasionally, after making that goodbye, by some turn of fate or smile of God, you do meet again. It feels like a moment of Grace.

I left my job as a teacher in July, after 5 years. I said goodbyes to a lot of people, staff and students, that I knew I would never see again. A lot of close friends and pupils that during that time I had become very close too. It was a really emotional and difficult decision to execute - I had seen a lot of children become adults, learn about the world and take some big strides within it, and been a part of their journey. A lot of adults too, and probably most of all myself. Leaving it all behind was the right thing for me to do, but it was a very emotional experience saying goodbye, sad and joyful and painful and difficult and scary and many many more things.

And then, a month ago, I got a phone call early one morning. My replacement had suddenly been taken very ill, the school were in a really difficult position, had I booked my flights, could I possibly come in and cover. With hardly any hesitation, I agreed. I was still awaiting some documentation and my flights had not been booked.

So I found myself back at my school and amongst adults and children I honestly thought I would not see again. It is difficult to describe how joyful it was too see everyone again, and almost as surprising how joyful people were to see me. The hugs and the high fives went on for a couple of weeks before people got used to me being round.

I left again yesterday. I slipped out at the end of the day. This time without saying goodbye.

Straplines and Summaries

In my head the the trailer for the Hollywood film of this story starts something like this:

[in a deep American drawl]

'In a land of mystery, in a time of change, one man's discovery leads to the journey of a lifetime' . Or perhaps, 'He was a man on the edge, he had nothing to lose. In a land far away, he found something that would change his life forever'. This story would be cinematic, have a chiseled hero, a bit Indiana Jones, a bit Ewan MacGregor in a montage of stunning shots of mountains, close up's of emotional faces (laughter, tears, anger, joy), pictures of exotic people and places, all in glorious saturated, cinematic 35mm colour.

However the likelihood is it would be more like:

[in a middle English slightly sarcastic accent]

'Middle aged geezer gets neurotic about getting old and losing his hair, jacks in his job and tries to regain his youth by motorcycling round India'. This would have much smaller production values, perhaps an odd looking comedy character actor, shot in sets built in tv studios, but maybe with some pathos, irony and a bittersweet and painful, self awareness and comedy.

Truth is though, we never know exactly what the strapline or the summary of our adventures or even our life will be. I have resigned from my job, I am starting to lose my hair, but I also I hope to have a journey of a lifetime and do something amazing. There are also a lot of other reasons and motivations being me going - I have dreamt of this for ages, I was getting a bit stale in my job, I have wanted to go back to India for years are just a few. The trip and this story will probably at times be all of these different types of stories.

In 5 days time I leave. I don't know exactly when I will be back. I don't know exactly what will happen. I would love you to accompany me on this trip.